Friday, June 7, 2024
MAY YOU NEVER HAVE A JELLYFISH BAD DAY ON THE JOB - JN! THIS ONE IS FOR YOU
Knowing JN's love of Deep Sea diving, snorkelling, and showing us her incredible photos and videos of sea creatures, I immediately thought of her.. I sincerely hope she never has a jellyfish bad day like this Deep Sea diver did. I laughed out loud when I read it and hope it tickles everyone else's funny bones. Here is his story..
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!
May none of us have a Jellyfish "Bad Day." God I so Love My Job...lol. How about you?
Daniel Powter who wrote and sang Bad Day, came on Canada's Got Talent to audition this year. Here is that video..
I can only watch Canada's Got Talent in the summer when off work. How about you? Do you watch AGT, Britain's Got Talent or Japan's Got Talent? Some of the acts on the shows are absolutely amazing, and others not so much...lol.
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As I read this, once I got to the part where your butt started itching…I was repeating “oh no” over and over
ReplyDeleteSo did I when I first read this, knowing slightly what was to come.I just started howling, yet felt so sorry for this diver at the same time..lol.
DeleteI'm dying! 😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteI figured that was going to happen as soon as I read that he put the hose in his wetsuit. 😂
Poor dude! 😂 But he can't blame his buddies for laughing their asses off 🤣
Thanks for the laughs! 😂
No you can't. I was laughing out loud but feeling sorry for him at the same time. I thought of you when I first read this so had to share it..lol.
DeleteI'm staying clear of jellyfish!
ReplyDeleteA wise choice for sure..lol.
DeleteI managed to have a jellyfish cross between my mask and regulator one time. In other words I managed to kiss one. My upper lip burned for quite a while after that one.
ReplyDeleteNow that was indeed a Jellyfish bad day..You can obviously relate to it..Ouch!..:)
Delete